


read it in reverse

by A_Confused_Kitten



Series: the kids aren't alright [3]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Episode: s02e08 The Chase, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Iroh (Avatar) is a Good Uncle, It's Implied Though, Ozai (Avatar) Being a Terrible Parent, POV Toph Beifong, Team as Family, Toph Beifong and Zuko are Siblings, Toph Beifong-centric, but not explicitly zukka, written by a zukka shipper, zuko never hunts the gaang and accidentally starts a rebellion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-23
Updated: 2020-06-23
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:08:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24873589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_Confused_Kitten/pseuds/A_Confused_Kitten
Summary: It happens the second or third time they come across their wanted posters.Now, it’s never bothered her that she can’t see. You can’t miss something you’ve never had, afterall, and Toph’s never been without the simplicity of the black filling her vision. Besides, it’s not like she can’t see, she just does it differently.Toph sees with the earth, just like her earthbending masters. And the badermoles were excellent teachers. She can feel someone coming from miles away, can sense the slightest movement, can read people like a book, and all she had to do was be in contact with her element.But it doesn’t change the fact that she’ll never know what her friends look like. And it’s a silly thing to focus on in that moment, in the middle of a town where people want them dead, but the realization hits her hard.
Relationships: Iroh & Zuko (Avatar), Sokka/Zuko (Avatar), The Gaang & Zuko (Avatar), Toph Beifong & Zuko
Series: the kids aren't alright [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1763332
Comments: 135
Kudos: 3175





	read it in reverse

It happens the second or third time they come across their wanted posters.

Now, it’s never bothered her that she can’t see. You can’t miss something you’ve never had, afterall, and Toph’s never been without the simplicity of the black filling her vision. Besides, it’s not like she can’t see, she just does it differently.

Toph sees with the earth, just like her earthbending masters. And the badermoles were excellent teachers. She can feel someone coming from miles away, can sense the slightest movement, can read people like a book, and all she had to do was be in contact with her element. 

But it doesn’t change the fact that she’ll never know what her friends _look_ like. And it’s a silly thing to focus on in that moment, in the middle of a town where people want them dead, but the realization hits her _hard._

Sokka is complaining about how inaccurate the poster is, and she resists the urge to say _'it_ _looks just like you!'_

“What do you guys look like, anyway?” Toph says, the words a quiet demand, and then they still. Maybe it hasn’t clicked with them that no matter how much she _can_ she, Toph is still blind.

The earth tells her about the world around her, about what’s near her and what people are doing, but it can’t give her the details. And dammit, Toph wants some clarity here. 

She wants to know what her friends look like, and what sets them apart from everyone else. She wants to know them more than how their hands feel in hers and how their steps resonate and the way their heartbeats echo.

At their campsite, Katara sits next to her, and her fingers, long and nimble, wrap around Toph’s wrists. Gently, the waterbender moves her hands towards her face. “Take a look.” She says, and Toph can’t keep back her grin.

So she maps out Katara’s face, her fingers gliding over dark skin, from her cheekbones to her lips to the dimples on her cheeks from smiling and laughing. There are lines around her eyes, and Toph doesn’t know if they’re from worry or joy, but she memorizes them regardless. She keeps going until her hands find soft, thick hair, pulled into a delicate braid, except for the strands looped in front of her face.

“You’re beautiful,” she settles on saying, and she can feel Katara’s lips curve into a smile. 

“Me next!” Aang laughs, and Toph is happy to oblige. 

His face is round and kind, and just like Katara, there are dimples on his cheeks, probably from laughing at the games he’s played. He’s smiling, just like he always is, and her hands pass over thin lips and an even jawline. “You’re bald,” she says, as her touch extends past his forehead.

“Yeah! I have a tattoo right here,” he says, then her hands are in his grasp and he’s tracing an arrow shape, and huh, tattoos feel _weird._ The skin there is raised, just barely, and it’s so _weird._

Toph laughs. “Sokka, get over here!” She demands, as if she even needs to ask.

He does, of course, and then her hands are dancing across his features. Sokka’s face is more defined than the other’s, older. His cheekbones and jawline are sharp, and his eyes are wide and expressive, and Toph can feel them move under her touch. He’s pretty, but Toph’s definitely not going to say that out loud.

She doesn’t say anything else, because what else is there? It’s a nice moment, and there’s nothing Toph can say to make it feel any more perfect.

  
  
  


So here's the deal, Toph knows things.

She knows about the war and its tragedies and the suffering it’s caused, because Toph Beifong doesn’t like to be kept in the dark.

Because despite how much her parents tried to keep her sheltered, there’s only so much you can do against gossiping servants and whispering guards and people who easily cave in to her innocent facades. So, unknown to her parents, Toph knows about the dead heir to the Fire Nation-

( _“What a poor boy,” a servant whispers, when everyone else has fallen asleep. “Killed in some sort of accident.”_

_A guard scoffs. “Haven’t you heard the rumors? They say he was killed by the Fire Lord himself.”_

_There’s a quiet gasp, and a moment of silence before the servant responds. “That poor,_ poor _boy. He was supposed to be so kind.”_ )

-and she knows _exactly_ what that means. 

But Toph also understands people. Maybe not in the same way that everyone else does, but heartbeats and footsteps aren't capable of lying and because of that, she knows how to read them.

And she knows that Katara takes the lightest steps, and that when she smiles or laughs or bends, her body becomes loose and flowing, or that Sokka is sturdy and solid, and when he reads people, those traits seem to amplify, increasing by tenfold, but he’s still soft and goofy and open, and how she knows Aang is light and fluttery and rarely spends much time on the ground because, _duh,_ he’s an airbender.

Knowing things certainly helps in the moments of chaos that follow their group around like baby turtle-ducks.

Because the supposedly dead Crown Prince is falling to the ground, and Uncle Iroh is shouting _"Z_ _uko!”_ and Azula just keeps laughing.

She laughs as though shooting someone full of lightning is just a day in the park, like she might not have just killed her brother, and personally, Toph really wants to chuck a boulder at her face.

But fire and water and air rush forwards alongside the grounding earth, and Sokka is throwing his spirits damned _boomerang_ at a firebending prodigy, and Toph wants to laugh. _Is that_ really _helpful?_ She wants to say, but she doesn’t. Because she finally understands that this isn’t just a game anymore.

This is life and death, peace and destruction that they’re dealing with, and while logically, Toph had known that, it’s only now really settling in that _people might die._

Because the second Azula leaps away, escaping into the sunset like the drama queen she is, Uncle is on the ground, holding Zuko’s hand, and Toph doesn’t need to see to know what’s happening.

She hears Katara’s gasp, and Aang has gone still, his feet planted on the ground, and Sokka is realizing what she’s already figured out, and Uncle-

Uncle is clutching Zuko’s hand like a lifeline. “I can’t lose another son,” he says, and tears are running down his face.

Katara steps forward, cautiously. None of them can come close to knowing what Uncle is going through, and none of them are going to do anything to make it worse. “I can heal him.” She says, and everything from her voice to her stance screams determination.

“Let me help,” Aang says, quiet and somber, and all of this feels _wrong._

Zuko isn’t supposed to be still, Uncle isn’t supposed to be crying, and she isn't supposed to feel so damn useless.

They can’t stay here.

It’s not safe here, not when this village is old and abandoned, and Toph can feel the trembling of each building’s foundations. Not when Azula and her ‘friends’ know exactly where they are and can come finish them off whenever they feel like it.

No, they’re sitting turtle-ducks here, and everyone can see it.

“Come with us,” Toph says, nonchalantly inviting them to come with them on their _flying bison._ And wow, it’s been a month, and she still hates flying with a passion typically reserved for her human earthbending teachers.

Aang nods eagerly. “Appa can definitely carry more people! Can’t you, boy?” He says it in the tone that Iroh never says no to, and sure enough, the old General releases a long, deep breath. 

“Who am I to ignore such a well-meaning invitation?” He asks, and Toph can’t help the relief that flows from her body.

She doesn’t want anyone else to get hurt. 

And that sounds silly, because Toph loves to fight and fights to love, but she doesn’t want any of her friends to get hurt in this war, and Zuko _is_ her friend, whether he likes it or not. 

Once they’re in the air, it’s almost like nothing has changed.

In the sky, riding Appa, Toph is blinder than she’s ever been, but she doesn’t need earthbending to see the newfound tension in the group. She hates it, hates the way things feel somber and stiff because this was her family, and they weren’t supposed to be like this.

Zuko doesn’t wake up for three hours, but slowly, his racing heart slows. Toph still refuses to let go of his hand.

On the ground, her friends’ heartbeats are a comfort. Up here? She holds on as tight as she can, feeling their beating hearts through a hand on their wrists.

But Zuko wakes up, and his occasional movements are shaky and uncertain, but who cares? Toph certainly doesn't. _Progress is progress,_ she thinks, a wide grin on her face, _and stiff joints is a long way from unconscious._

“Uncle?” The Fire Prince asks, and his voice is so, so small, more tired than Toph has ever heard it.

And Uncle Iroh smiles, because that's what Uncle does. He smiles that soft look and makes delicious tea and gives good advice. That’s why Toph doesn’t need to see to know what he’s doing. “Prince Zuko,” Iroh says, instead of a greeting, and just like that, the tension is gone.

When Zuko speaks, his words are slow and quiet, traits Toph can barely connect to Sokka’s favorite firebender. Well, he might be Aang and Katara’s favorite, too, but Sokka definitely knows the guy better than any of them.

“I’ve been looking for you…”

Uncle chuckles, a light and airy sound. “And I am lucky to have found you, Prince Zuko.”

“I’d hate to interrupt such a touching moment, but can someone please tell me what in Tui and La’s names is happening?”

 _Nice going, Snoozles,_ Toph thinks, and years of practice keep the frown off her face. “Shut up, you idiot.” And she hears Sokka’s protest coming miles away, so she keeps going. “I, for one, would let the only members of the royal family who _aren’t_ crazy have their moment.”

Sokka splutters, but Uncle simply laughs. “It is alright, my dear Toph. I owe you quite the explanation, don’t I? You see, I am Iroh, son of Azulon and brother to Ozai. As you can guess, my nephew, Zuko, is the Crown Prince of the Fire Nation.”

Zuko gives an awkward wave, and Toph barely holds back a laugh. You’d think a guy raised by nobility would be more charismatic, but who was she to stereotype people because of their background? Toph, the noble's daughter who ran away to play in the dirt, who ignored every ‘noble’ rule she’d ever learned.

But she has to ask. “Aren’t you supposed to be dead?”

Katara makes a strangled sounding noise, and there’s a muffled choke on her right. So Sokka _still_ is wrapping his head around things, though, Toph can understand why it might be hard to get a grip on. She’s gone her whole life hearing rumors, only for them to be discredited a day later, so Toph is used to this game.

Granted, it might help that Toph has known Zuko is the Crown Prince almost since they’d met him.

 _What?_ It’s obvious if you’re looking for it, and like she said, Toph _hates_ not knowing things.

“Kind of?” Zuko shrugs, and Toph can picture the look on his face. Shy smile and quiet eyes, features twisted into an almost guilty look. “I meant what I said, I try not to get much attention, and most of the rumors aren’t true, but I might be considered dead? Azula is the last person I’ve seen to know who I am, and she isn’t exactly reliable information.”

 _Yeah, that’s true,_ she thinks, nodding.

Zuko slowly shifts towards Sokka, and for a moment, that confuses the _shit_ out of Toph. Only for a moment though, because if the Prince ‘died’ three years ago, while Uncle was still traveling among the spirits, then he’s probably more comfortable with Sokka than anyone else here. 

“Wait,” Katara says, and Toph barely manages to hold back a groan. _Seriously_? Can’t they go two minutes without interrupting the royal duo. “What is the Crown Prince of the Fire Nation doing wandering around the Earth Kingdom?”

“I disrespected the wrong people, and now I’m not welcome there.” Zuko says, entirely nonchalant about it. “Eventually I ended up in the colonies, and everyone there thought all people from the Fire Nation must be terrible, and it’s not _really_ true, even if a lot of the upper class aren’t pleasant, so I proved them wrong.”

Toph has a feeling the words _'s_ _o I proved them wrong_ ’ could be applied to most of the things Zuko has done.

Zuko blends into the group with practically no effort.

And sure, he’d _kind of_ been a part of it before the whole thing with Azula and the lightning, but he still wasn’t actually _part_ of the group. Not when they only saw him for maybe an hour or two every few weeks, and when he was so obviously uncomfortable around them.

But now? He blends in perfectly.

It’s still blatantly obvious that he’s closer to Sokka than anyone else, especially since Iroh left to ‘find some old friends,’ but given that Sokka is the one who brought him in, and that there was _clearly_ some sort of thing between them before he met the entire group, Toph was willing to let that slide.

But she’s worried, so, _so_ worried for reasons she can’t fathom. It’s the way his steps are almost silent, even when he’s himself, not the Blue Spirit, and how sometimes, she feels him flinch when someone bends in an aggressive way or even when someone moves too fast. 

Sokka sees it, and Toph thinks Katara does, too. 

“Hey, Princess?” She says, while the boys are messing around. Usually, Toph would be with them, but she _needs_ to have this conversation, and Toph doesn’t know when she’ll be able to do it. “Does Zuko act a little weird to you?”

Katara nods. “He’s too quiet,” she says, and yeah, Katara understands.

Going from town to town is a new kind of adventure.

They travel around the colonies, which is exciting and fun but also dangerous, because hello? Zuko is ‘dead,’ not to mention his identities as the Blue Spirit and as Agni’s Prince.

But there’s a sense of thrill that’s never been there before.

Sometimes, the towns are filled to the brim with Fire Nation soldiers, and every moment they spend there is a moment they can get caught, and only Zuko knows what the Fire Nation does to their most wanted criminals, and going on the little information he’s given them, it’s nothing good.

But in others, the locals know Zuko, and when they do, it doesn’t take long for Toph to recognize the barely there smell of lotus flowers. These towns are the ones she likes the most, where the five of them can explore on their own, without worrying about the consequences of being found.

There’s a herbalist named Rin and a shop vendor called Shun and a pair of twins that shout “ _Zuko!”_ and everytime someone calls their prince’s name, Toph smiles.

Toph might not know Zuko as well as the others do, but there _is_ something she needs to do. Because the way he moves is off. Different in a way she’s never really noticed until she sparred with him.

When Zuko fights, it’s all grace and power and confidence, not a trace of the quiet that lingers around him like a second shadow. But there’s also something weird about it, and even weirder, it’s only when he’s using firebending.

He always protects his left side.

It doesn’t even look like he’s doing it on purpose, more like it just _is._ He keeps his fire on a leash, always under a strict control, but never too close. And if _you_ bend anything too close to his left, or more specifically his face, then he _flinches._

He flinches away, violently at the worst of times, and that’s not _right._

Because that means someone hurt him, and he’s her friend, dammit, and Toph doesn’t let her friends get hurt. Not like that. Not enough to permanently scar them to the point where they flinch away from touch and don’t feel comfortable with people.

And Zuko should know that by now, but it’s okay if he doesn’t, because she’ll drive it into his head, even if it takes a while.

“Hey, Sparky!” She calls, pretending she doesn’t feel him jump. “Can I touch your face?”

He sputters, and in hindsight, Toph gets it. She hadn’t exactly worded that the best way she could have, and while Zuko fit in right away, he still wasn’t entirely used to the Gaang’s dynamics. “It’s how I figure out what people look like.” She goes on to explain, shrugging. “Katara came up with it, and I’ve seen everyone else, so it’s your turn.”

Zuko hesitates, and for a moment, Toph thinks he’s going to say no. But he speaks, and his voice is quiet and soft and not quite even. “Okay.” Then, just like Katara had done, he takes her hands and guides them to his face.

Immediately, Toph notices the difference. Her right hand touches smooth skin and sharp features, mapping out his thin nose and wide eye, but her left? The left is mottled and twisted and _burned,_ and Toph can’t deny the concern that rushes through her.

A bender should never be scarred by their own element. Not like this. But her fingers move across rough skin that trails across his face, and it doesn’t end there, continuing down his neck and disappears into his clothes. 

_Can he even see?_ The thought crosses her mind without her permission, but now that it’s there, she _has_ to know. Her fingers slowly find his eye, permanently shaped into a thin slit. “What’s your vision like?” Toph asks, not stopping her investigation.

He shrugs. “Not the best, but I can see out of it. I spent most of six months trying to work around my depth perception, and most of the time, I freaked out at even the smallest fire.” She feels his lips quirk. “Not my greatest moment, but it got me here, so I can’t really complain.”

The air is tense and awkward, and she can’t have that. Toph considers. “What do you think of me giving whoever did it a matching scar?”

Zuko laughs, and Toph smiles. Mission accomplished. “If anyone can do it, it’d probably be you.”

Things are different after that.

Zuko starts spending as much time with Toph as he does with Sokka, and slowly, he becomes something of an older brother to her, and she can tell Aang is starting to feel the same. And honestly, it’s not surprising.

He _is_ an older brother. His younger sister just happens to be insane. 

No big deal.

But they are _finally_ making progress towards their goal, after what seems like months of doing nothing. Aang’s getting close to mastering waterbending, or at least Katara seems to think so, and he’s made a lot of progress since she started teaching him earthbending.

He’s nowhere near her level, but who cares? He was supposed to master all of the elements, not be the best at all of them. And Toph is _clearly_ the best earthbender this side of, well, anywhere.

But there’s not much more she can teach him.

Aang can send boulders flying and keep himself grounded and his stance is almost perfect, and what he needs more than anything else is _experience._

Given that they’re on the run and all, it’s not like they can pop back into an Earth Kingdom town and travel until they find another fighting rink. 

So they spar. 

Some days the others join them, Katara with her water and Zuko with his fire, though, sometimes he and Sokka practice with their swords instead, but today? Today it’s just her and Aang.

Toph sends rocks spiraling his direction and he dodges, sends them right back at her. It’s a game, one that Toph absolutely _loves_ , and it’s clear by the vindictive smile on her face. Fighting has always been a hobby of hers, something that takes her mind far away from all the stress in the world. 

That’s why she started going to underground tournaments in the first place.

Fighting is peaceful for her, in some sort of weird way, just like waterbending was for Katara or swordplay was for Zuko and Sokka.

So Toph grins, bares her teeth, and smiles because this was a hell of a lot better than sitting around the Beifong Manor.

The nights by the fireside are Toph’s favorite times with the Gaang by _far._ They talk and they laugh and they play Pai Sho, even though Sokka is the only one who’s actually good at it.

Sometimes Aang convinces Zuko to tell stories, and spirits, Zuko knows a _lot_ of stories. There are stories that are oh so _obviously_ Earth Kingdom legends, and even more that are Fire Nation ones, but Toph’s favorite are the ones about the Blue Spirit.

He always gets so shy and awkward, especially if the story involves his less-than-legal adventures, and it’s absolutely hilarious. 

Sometimes, Aang’s the one sharing stories. He talks of the world as it was one hundred years ago, before the Hundred Year War, when everyone lived in peace and harmony, as Aang likes to put it. On the best nights, he tells them about the Air Nomads, and what things could have been.

Sokka, of course, refuses to be outdone, so he shares stories from the Southern Water Tribe. Out of all of them, he’s the best storyteller, or at least in Toph’s humble opinion. He weaves words together like a master, and on the rare occasion that Katara joins in, they speak seamlessly, bouncing off each other's sentences.

Toph may not know any stories to tell, unless her beating people up in the ring counts as a story, but she’s content to listen.

It’s peaceful in a way that reminds her of having tea with Uncle Iroh. It’s nice, being surrounded by people her age that treat her something more than a breakable doll, and even nicer to have this strong connection with them.

On nights like this, they aren’t fighting a war. They aren’t child soldiers or people trying to save the world or trying to escape their past. They’re just kids, and Toph dreams of a life where this could be considered normal.

And Toph isn’t the sentimental type, she never has been, but if she could, Toph would keep this moment forever.

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, so I have no idea where the canon timeline has gone at this point in the series. 'bring on the rapture' is pre-canon to The Blue Spirit', 'overhead the aqua blue' starts where that one ends and continues up until The Chase. 'read it in reverse'? All I know is that it starts at The Chase.
> 
> As the saying goes; canon? Never met her. Anyways, this turned out shorter than I wanted it to be, but I think it ended at a nice place. Toph's POV is kind of difficult, and for anyone who's curious, I'm 99% sure Katara is going to have the next fic.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


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